I don’t have to use a walker to pump my gas.

December 11, 2009 by The Clever Kris · 2 Comments
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, faith, humor, life 
No snake eyes for me.

I have realized, lately, that I am, at best, a third cousin once removed from my own definition of self-awareness. I like to think I'm savvy and a smooth operator, most of the time, but I had a bit of a bitter pill to swallow yesterday, when, on my way back from Scooba (perish the thought!), I had to stop and get gas. This is hardly a new thing for me, but unlike my usual stop-and-gos at the Scooba Junction gas station, I had neglected to look at my gas gauge until I was in Brooksville, about twenty minutes north. I had no choice but to pull...

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Suffice it to say, I was spanked, a second time, OR The 100th Blog.

October 28, 2009 by The Clever Kris · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Deep South, Everyday, faith, family, life, writing 
Rent's pretty cheap here: one soul for life.

I didn’t get spanked, as a child…much.

U.L. didn’t really believe in that, unless you’d done some really horrendous thing, which I never truly did because God, you know, also rented a room at U.L.’s house, and so it was really hard to get away with much of anything between the two of them. And then there was Jesus. He was always like, Hey, we'll fix it later. I liked him the most. I hated that he moved out.

I’m not saying I never got spanked, kids being kids, but I tried really hard to be a good boy. And, for the most...

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If you don't want to bleed for it, don't put it in your blood.

June 16, 2009 by The Clever Kris · 1 Comment
Filed under: Everyday 
Yeah, but one wipe and it's all gone.

I had a terrifying thought, this morning, on the way to work: I'm afraid I might be a duplicitous man. Duplicitous. I used to think that described a man who had lots of love affairs. Would that it were true. But, driving out to campus, I really questioned what I, up until this morning, had believed was my emotional and physical elasticity when in the face of any crisis. Now, I wonder: what if all I've done is misunderstood what I thought was others' general defection of accountability because I'd mislabeled it in my own life? I hate this thought. I've hated it all...

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